


Crush

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 13:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Peter Parker's crush on Wade Wilson</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crush

He was Spider-Man, for Christ’s sake. He had super-strength and flexibility and _fans_. He could take out a villain without breaking a sweat on a good day. So why was he scared shitless of talking to the person he had a crush on? Was it the lack of the suit? Was Peter Parker as a person that unattractive in his own eyes? Were his fashion choices and unremarkable features really that incriminating? Did he really have to worry about _that_ when the object of his affection was frigging _Deadpool_? Not that he thought Wade was any less entitled to having high standards just because he had a really uninviting personality and was a little – or, you know, completely – disfigured. No, Wade had every right to not find Peter desirable.

But Peter knew Wade would fuck Spider-Man _in a heartbeat_ and that was what was so upsetting. The discrepancy between Peter Parker and Spider-Man was quite frankly outrageous, as Black Cat didn’t hesitate to bring to his attention, so yeah, Peter was worried. About that and, well, his mental health because… really? _Deadpool_? Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with him? Peter should really be over it at this point but somehow he still wasn’t able to wrap his head around how much he wanted wrap his hand around Wade’s dick. He was so, so undeniably and irrevocably screwed.

Cap cleared his throat in an authoritative manner and Peter had a nasty feeling it was directed at him. He had been spacing out like that a lot lately, but it wasn’t like he could help it! He looked around the faces and tried to decide what kind of reaction he appreciated less – exasperated annoyance or sympathetic amusement.

“Care to get your head in the game, kid?” asked Steve.

Peter couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment, thank God for the mask. That was Cap’s way of saying “Care to take your head out of the gutter.” Logan snorted and Peter looked at him hatefully through narrowed eyes. He was the one who’d outed Peter to the team with that damned nose of his. Having animal sense of smell bested only by his animal sense of _tact_ , he had bluntly explained to everyone that Peter was hot for the mercenary and Peter’s life as he’d known it had ended.

“No one asked _you_ , Logan,” he muttered grumpily.

“I didn’t say anything,” replied Logan with faux innocence. That earned him a giggle from Clint and Peter growled.

Clint wasn’t any better than Logan. He didn’t only relish in Peter’s torment; he also very much enjoyed the situation from Wade’s end and didn’t hesitate to report everything back to Peter with gleeful satisfaction. Worst. Wingman. Ever. Really, Clint Barton could solve all of Peter’s problems with one phone call or even a text, but no. Peter’s pathetic crush was clearly too much fun. It wasn’t Peter’s fault that Wade was apparently under the impression Peter hated him.

Well, maybe it was, a bit. He might have been really hostile for a while when he blamed Wade for _cursing_ him after he had first realized he liked him because, really, it was the only reasonable conclusion. Everyone would have come to it. Tony certainly had entertained it when _he_ found out; he disliked Wade only slightly less than magic. But it wasn’t a spell, it was just Peter’s own insanity – he had fallen for Deadpool in the entirety of his imperfection and general bad-news-ness. Whenever he reminded himself of it, the sheer shock was enough to make him trip over his own legs or even collide with a wall of a ten-stories-high building that one time. He’d been literally losing sleep over Wade Wilson.

“You’re dismissed,” said Cap suddenly. “Spider-Man, you stay.”

Peter groaned softly and Clint choked on laughter. Natasha elbowed him in the ribs in manifestation of some sort of spider-solidarity and Peter sent a week smile her way. Such a good, capable, beautiful woman. Why couldn’t Peter have fallen for her? Well, he liked _breathing_ , for one thing, and even he had some self-preservation instinct in him. And maybe his track record with stunning red-heads wasn’t overall too great…

The sound of the door closing behind the last Avenger brought Peter back to more pressing matters, like Captain America _scolding_ him, and he immediately rushed to apologize.

“Cap, I’m so sorry, I really am, I’ll get over it soon, I promise, please don’t kick me out of the team, I swear I-” he mumbled nervously until Cap lifted his hand slightly, shutting Peter up in a second flat. So cool.

“I’m not going to kick you off the team, Peter. I had been young once, you know. I was actually going to ask if you needed any advice or-”

“Oh God, first of all, _thank you!_ Thank you so much for not kicking me out, I will get my head in the game yesterday, promise! And secondly, oh God, I’m going to die of embarrassment, I’m going to literally _die_ , I’m so ashamed right now, you can’t even imagine, I’m begging you, please don’t feed my guilt complex by occupying your-very-important-self with my pathetic problems or I will-”

Steve chuckled softly and Peter whined. He was so pitiful even Captain America laughed at him. And Cap didn’t even laugh at Wade!

“Calm down, son. It’s really nothing, I’d be glad to give you advice if you’re willing to accept it.”

Peter blinked. “Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. You, Captain Steven Rogers, want to willingly give me a free advice on my idiotic crush on Deadpool, the mercenary.”

“I’m not actually a captain but, basically, yeah. And it’s a damn good one if I may say so myself.”

“Well then, I’m all ears, because I’m seriously out of options.”

Cap put his hand on Peter’s shoulder and looked straight at him. Peter wanted to weep in joy; he was saved! Captain America himself was going to tell him how to cure himself of a disease called Wade Wilson. Finally, freedom! Cap really _did_ stand for it. Ah, such a moving moment.

“Tell him.”

Peter gaped. Oh great, so Cap’s great idea was to go up to Wade and say “So listen, I basically want to wipe the sidewalk with your face every time I see you but I also want to ride you into the next week so how about it.” Well, probably Cap’s idea involved more formal language and flowers and maybe a tie or something. But still.

 “That’s _it?_ ”

“What else did you expect? It will solve all your problems, trust me. No more why’s and what if’s, you’ll get it out of your system and finally focus on more important things. Not that I think personal happiness is not important, of course. But you did crash into a building because you were distracted.”

“I frigging _knew_ you saw that.”

Steve smiled and patted Peter’s back. “It’ll be alright, son. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you liking Wade, if that’s your issue. He certainly has his charm, no matter how peculiar it is. There’s also nothing wrong with you worrying about his… character flaws. He definitely has a fair share of those, but people change, Peter, and Wade he never hid his… affection for you.”

Peter rolled his eyes involuntarily, ungratefully ignoring the first part of Steve’s speech, for which he would hate himself properly later when he wasn’t so busy wallowing in self-pity.

“Excuse my foul mouth, Cap, but he likes the way my ass looks in the suit, he doesn’t like… me. Peter-me.”

Cap looked positively confused and Peter felt himself panic for some reason. What? What did he say? He could imagine millions of American children sobbing in anguish because he had put a frown on Captain America’s forehead with his idiocy. Forgive him, America!

“ _That’s_ what you’re worried about? You actually think he will… reject you? Are we talking about the same Deadpool?”

“Well, gee, thanks, Cap… It’s such a relief to know Wade is generally considered to have low enough standards to go out with me...”

“That’s not what I meant, son…” Steve sighed and rubbed his temple. “Tell me, have you ever actually listened to anything he says to you? Logan never neglects to tell everyone how he gets physically ill every time you two are together, and not just from second-hand embarrassment. Natasha sometimes even _sighs_ _wistfully_. I’ve heard Clint threaten to put an arrow through Wade’s head to permanently shut down his ability to speak because he couldn’t stand him spewing poetics about you. Even Pepper called me once in the middle of the night because Tony got drunk crying about how he will never experience a love like this.”

Well that was embarrassing. Peter needed to sit down. Or dig a hole and hide in it for the rest of his life. Now that he had made Captain America say all those horrid, _horrid_ , embarrassing things, the least he should do was to take his advice and just tell Wade, damn the consequences. He owed his _country_ that. He owed his team, at least; he had put them through unspeakable hell, apparently.

Steve smiled at him sympathetically for the last time and started heading for the door. Peter spun around as Steve reached for the handle.

“Hey, Cap. The part about Tony is actually a lie, isn’t it?”

Peter refused to believe at least that, for sanity’s sake, even if it came from America’s Golden Boy himself. Steve chuckled.

“Well, it was for a noble cause, I had to try. Don’t tell anyone.”

And then Captain America _winked_ at him. He really needed to sit down. But he also had somewhere to be. With hands shaking way too much for his own comfort, he left the conference room and headed straight for Wade’s place.

He changed in the alley, putting a pair of jeans and a hoodie on a suit and stuffing his mask into his backpack, and entered the dilapidating building. He’d been in Wade’s apartment exactly once, when he carried his severed leg in one hand, while using the other to support its proud, albeit covered in gunshot wounds, owner. Even if he didn’t know where Deadpool lived, _All The Single Ladies_ blasting from one of the apartments would have been a dead giveaway.

Peter took a deep breath and knocked. Then he knocked again, because the music hadn’t died and no one was answering the door. Well, that was simply rude. Peter was standing there with his heart on a silver platter and Wade was probably dancing his ass off to a freaking Beyoncé! He gritted his teeth and kicked down the door. Wade stopped around mid-swirl and gaped. Peter gaped too, because Wade was only wearing boxers and his mask, and Peter’s fingers twitched with the urge to touch.

“Skippy?” asked Wade when he turned down the music.

“Skippy?”

“You just look like a Skippy.”

“Alright.”

Well, that was ridiculous. Peter scratched his cheek and waited for Wade’s next move.

“Do I know you?” Peter nodded. “Did I try to kill you?” Peter nodded again. “And you’re alive? Impressive.” Peter shrugged and Wade nodded. Fucking ridiculous. “So what brings you here, Skippy?”

“Peter. My name is Peter.”

Wade hummed and clicked his tongue, as if he was displeased his name wasn’t goddamn _Skippy_. “My name is Wade,” he said and Peter sighed in frustration.

“I know who you are, you idiot. Are you frigging high? I didn’t just happen to kick your door in not knowing who you are. And what’s with the get-up? Do I seem that little of a threat you won’t even act _a little bit_ suspicious? By the way, thank you for not killing me for kicking your door in.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Peter nodded again and he wanted to punch himself in the face. This was going even worse than he’d anticipated. He sighed; it was do or die.

“Anyway. I’m here to ask if you’d tap that.”

He grimaced as Wade furrowed his brows and scratched his chin. He was so mortified by his own words he didn’t even protest when Wade motioned for him to turn around. Wade hummed thoughtfully when they were facing each other again. Peter wanted to die, no joke. It was supposed to be flowers and ties, goddammit!

“Normally I would be all over that, believe me, Skippy, I would, but I’m currently very much in love with Spider-Man. And before you say anything about reasonable standards, let me tell you a little something about a thing called _desperation_ -”

Peter barked out a laugh and promptly covered his mouth with his hand. Oops.

“You’re making me reconsider not killing you,” Wade mumbled with a pout.

“I’m sorry, it’s just-” Peter took a deep breath and tried to stop grinning like an idiot. “What would you do if I told you that I know from a very good source that Spider-Man also had a ridiculous crush on you?”

“Kill you for trying to mess with me and then fuck the corpse,” Wade deadpanned without a beat.

“Seriously?”

“No, dumbass. I don’t kill innocent people and I definitely do _not_ fuck corpses. Unless masturbation counts in my case.”

The image of Wade’s hand on his own dick suddenly made Peter’s throat dry. He immediately went for his own belt but then changed his mind and grabbed the zipper of his hoodie.

“Okay, let’s fuck.”

He could see Wade’s eyes going impossibly wide behind the mask when he caught a glimpse of Peter’s costume. “S-p-s-pidey?!”

Peter grinned and threw himself in Wade’s arms, wrapping his legs around his waist and lifting the hem of his mask to uncover his mouth.

“I thought that ass looked familiar…”

Wade mumbled the words into Peter’s lips and Peter laughed into the kiss.


End file.
